We’ve all lied at some point in our lives, whether it be harmless white lies or more important lies to get out of trouble. It’s in our nature to lie. In fact, telling someone we are fine even when we’re not is still a lie. You might even believe not all lies are bad, especially when it’s in our own benefit, or in someone else’s. But don’t forget: “liar, liar, pants on fire“.
Not telling the truth becomes a habit
However, on the other extreme of the spectrum we can find the so-called “compulsive liar“. These kind of people have turned lying into a hobby, and are already very far from telling lies as a benefit to someone. In fact, they have created a habit out of not telling the truth. They even get to the point where they lie about lying.
Pay close attention
To find out if someone is a compulsive liar you will have to pay close attention to their actions and what they say; and even to how they say it. We give you some tips to find out if the person is, indeed, a compulsive liar. You’ll see you’ll find out quicker than you think.
1. Bragging is their hobby
Bragging is a clear red flag. Compulsive liars are people who constantly feel the need to prove themselves, and they want to show you they have knowledge on every possible topic. Bragging is an obvious sign because pathological liars try to prove what they know by being seemingly humble. To achieve this, they create a so-called “fake modesty”.
To better explain this point: it’s one of those people who would tell you they “feel bad” for being invited to an exclusive event because they are friends with all of the guests. If you know what I mean.
2. No guilt whatsoever
When someone is lying you can usually tell from a certain sense of discomfort they give out. This comes from the guilt they experience from lying. In other words, a compulsive liar would experience no discomfort whatsoever because there is no guilt: they are not capable of feeling empathy. They believe their lies do not harm anybody, and even if they did, they wouldn’t care.
3. Me, myself and I
Pathological liars are selfish human beings. They always put themselves first, above anything or anyone. Here we have to go back to the “fake-modesty” we talked about before. They try no to act in obvious ways: they obtain what they want by seeming humble.
4. They are defensive
If you have ever encountered a compulsive liar, you’ll be able to remember their reaction that one time you “uncovered” one of their lies. They probably seemed furious, rather than guilty or afraid. What they do is project their lie onto you by deviating you attention through questions, or accusing you of not trusting them, a classic. Their turn the guilt onto you.
5. It’s likely they believe their own lies
These extreme liars usually end up believing their own lies, because they truly wish their lies were real. They think about it so carefully and extensively that, to them, it becomes organic. This is a point in favour of the liar: the inconvenience seizes to exist and they have no problem lying.
It can be hard to uncover such lies because they have been extensively thought through, but it’s not impossible. Think about a question they haven’t possibly considered; something out of the box. This will throw them off.
6. Lying is their comfort zone
It is easy to detect a lie when the liar gives off signs of discomfort: they might avoid visual contact or start to sweat. To a pathological liar, lying is is what floats their boat: they are inside their comfort zone. They often even find it harder to tell the truth than to lie.
7. You end up questioning yourself
It’s probable that a compulsive liar is full of confidence. This happens because of the “fusion” of the diverse behaviours that takes place. It allows them to turn the tables and place the blame on you. They make you question what you believe, and you end up questioning yourself.
Compulsive liars are very toxic people, so if you know anyone with these traits, keep away!
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